April 11th, 2005
Small Notations
Once more, the season of short, sharp points is upon your
humble correspondent. I really should try to turn one or more
of these into a full-blown column, but the blank page defies
easy taming, and I have a few other pages to tame in the meantime.
Mea culpa.
Having John Bolton sit as the American ambassador to a body
that he not only despises, but wants to do away with entirely,
is hardly likely to make the United Nations any better. Then
again, I'm hard pressed to see how it could get worse. I'm still
hoping his nomination gets torpedoed, though.
People really need to just get over the fact that Prince Charles
was cheating on Diana with the lady he's how gotten married to.
Not only is it extremely old news, but a look at British history
shows that Kings and Queens were not always the best-behaved
of individuals - sometimes with disastrous consequences, and
high bodycounts. If all Charles has really done wrong as heir
to the throne was have a long-term affair with the woman he really
should have married in the first place, then he'll hardly be
the worst King in their history.
Did I say 'people?' Maybe I really should say 'The British
Press.' It seems they're the ones who were stirring up every
little molehill about the impending nuptials into a new mountain
to proclaim from. I realize that's par for the course for that
country's unique brand of journalism, but it'd be nice if they
could lead by example - for once - and just deal with it.
It doesn't bother me that Christian Identity bomber Eric Rudolph
is most likely going to get consecutive life sentences rather
than the death penalty, as this keeps him from becoming a real
martyr to their sick and depraved cause. What bothers me is how
this highlights the hypocrisy of the use-America Right, who are
still demanding that "Islam" deliver an apology for
9/11. If Muslims around the world who have nothing to do with
Al-Qaeda have to apologize for the actions of that tiny, sick-minded
minority to ever be trusted again, do Christians around the world
who have nothing to do with Christian Identity have to apologize
for them, too? Or do we have to wait until - Goddess forbid -
those Identity freaks perform an act of terrorism comparable
to 9/11 to get one?
If you want a snapshot of how full of hot air the Blogosphere
can be, check the rightward
blogs' reaction to the discovery that the now-infamous Schiavo
memo was for real after all. The shorthand is that they don't
want to own up to having freaked out over nothing, and apologies
and retractions are very slow in coming. There's crow aplenty,
here, for those wondrous defenders of "real journalism,"
but lets remember that Congressional memos are the stuff of ill-gained
legend on both
sides of the aisle.
Speaking of hot air, it appears that I may have helped contribute
some to a story. Remember the "Zombie
Teen" case I talked about back in February? Well, in
the meantime, we've learned from the Prosecutors that the story
which got him in trouble wasn't about zombies, was not a class
assignment, and was actually reason
for concern. He was released on bond, but is back in jail
after
visiting the school, against orders.
More importantly: in that same article, Mr. Poole's grandparents
state that they hope he gets help because he's been "diagnosed
with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity
disorder, and often refuses to take his medicine." Why the
hell didn't that little detail about Mr. Poole bubble to the
surface back in February? From where I'm standing, that could
help explain a few things...
The Pope's funeral was a study in uncomfortable manners. The
odd seating arrangements had countries that aren't on good terms
with one another sitting right next to one another, and part
of the ceremony called for people to shake hands with their neighbors.
We're told that Tony Blair actually fled the scene when he realized
he'd have to sit next to Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe, who he's had
a cold war with for some time now. This left poor Prince Charles
to hold down the fort, and he couldn't escape a polite handshake
with the man, who invited Charles to come down and be a guest
anytime he wanted. We're also informed that Israel's President
got a handshake from both Syria's Assad and Iran's Khatami, but
the Iranians later hotly denied that the handshake ever took
place, calling it a trick of the "Zionist media."
The post office wants more of your money, again: the 1 class
stamp is set to jump from 37 to 39 cents, with all other rates
sliding on up around 5.4% as well. This will, of course, be accompanied
by a 5.4% decrease in friendliness, timeliness and overall quality
of service. Sooner or later it will cost five dollars to send
a letter across town, and the postal clerks will be allowed to
throw dodgeballs at your head as you approach the desk, so as
to not have their morning coffee, doughnuts and email interrupted
by actually having to work.
Speaking of price increases: gasoline might go up to four
dollars a gallon if op-ed columnist Thomas Friedman has his way.
His solution to the coming problem of far too many cars on the
road, and the current problem of democracy deficits in the Middle
East, is to hike
gas up so far that no one can really afford it. That way,
the icebergs won't melt, and all the oil-rich countries will
be forced to diversify their economy, women will have to be put
to work, and their citizens will demand - and get - political
and social reform. Friedman calls this strategy "geo-con,"
and there's a con in there, alright - especially if he thinks
Americans are going to sit still for having their livelihoods
disrupted any worse, just to reap benefits for countries who
really don't like us all that much. I guess it's just as well
President Bush doesn't read newspapers, and is unlikely to be
exposed to that whopper.
In even more ludicrous news, Cookie
Monster is going to go on a diet. Well, not exactly, but
he is going to be smacked upside the head with the notion that
cookies are a "sometimes food." This is being done
to try and combat obesity amongst children, and instill better
eating habits into them. Maybe they should just turn off the
TV, go outside and play then - leave my Cookie alone!
And finally: we've learned, thanks to a recent reprinting
of his pioneering dictionary, that Samuel Johnson's definition
of a rant was "high-sounding language unsupported by dignity
of thought."
We try, Mr. Johnson. We try.
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